He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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