So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
