ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
