I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
