You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
