We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
