Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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