i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
