No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
