Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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