girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
