I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Randomize