i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
