Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
