Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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