Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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