I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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