Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
