i don't like sucking hair
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
