I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
