Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
