His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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