Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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