DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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