ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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