All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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