Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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