I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
