I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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