new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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