Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
