Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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