FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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