I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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