Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize