Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize