What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
