did you get engaged???
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
