I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize