Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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