My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
