wanna go halves on a baby?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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