going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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