im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it was like eating out sand paper
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
