You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
