i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
