I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
