I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
