There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
