I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
