Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
