Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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