You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
