Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
