he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
