I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
