My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
