nut hugger
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just found puke in my bra..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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