I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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