So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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