i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
whose parrot is this?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
